Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List. Home · Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List 12 downloads Views KB Size Report. DOWNLOAD EPUB. To protect their feelings, Naomi and Ely created a No Kiss List—a list of Kindle Book; OverDrive Read; Adobe PDF eBook MB; Adobe EPUB eBook MB. Naomi and Ely No Kiss List by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan - Free download as PDF File .pdf), Text File .txt) or read online for free. The quintessential.
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where can i download Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List free ebook pdf kindle online textbook epub electronic book Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List full ebook review. Naomi and Ely prove that any great friendship can be as confusing, Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List (eBook, ePUB) - Cohn, Rachel; Als Download kaufen. If you want the epub/mobi versions, I can upload those as well, just ask me.:) Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List - pdf / mobi / epub - buy the book.
Also available as: Not in United States? Choose your country's store to see books available for purchase. Naomi and Ely are best friends. Inseparable since childhood. Naomi is straight.
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You submitted the following rating and review. We'll publish them on our site once we've reviewed them. Continue shopping. Item s unavailable for purchase. Please review your cart. You can remove the unavailable item s now or we'll automatically remove it at Checkout. Remove FREE. Unavailable for purchase. Why, Naomi? I only just got here. Trust me, I say. He doesnt ask where Im leading him. You dont have cancer, Naomi. And in case you didnt notice, its like thirty degrees outside and there are ways Id rather be spending my time than freezing my ass off walking down this sidewalk.
For instance, making eyes at the cute T. Ely extracts his one hand from mine, gives his hot chocolate over to me to hold with his other hand, and then places both his hands to- gether at his mouth, to warm them. I want to do the breathing for him. It would not be a lie to say I like cold. Its what I yearn for most. To shiver. How can you not be concerned that I might have can- cer? I ask.
I found a lump on my breast. Touch it, Ely. Touch it. Not only are you biting your lip, which you always do when you lie, but your mom told me about the alleged lump in the elevator this morning. The doctor said it was an overgrown pimple. I must distract Ely from my lie.
I stop us at a fence in front of a schoolyard playground. The school building behind it is massive, dank and dirty, grafti-covered, with bars on the windows. The playground is all blacktop surrounded by di- lapidated fence grating. I think we should get married here, I tell Ely. Oh, my darling Naomi, youre making me swoon from the gritty romance of it all.
I agreed to that one just so I can see you wearing the Nefertiti ivory gown, with Cleopatra kohl- eyes. Youre one girl who could totally pull off the ancient Egyptian goddess look. What will the groom wear? The same. Wrong wrong wrong. I must correct him. Not you and me get married here, Ely. Me and he. I point to the hoops player on the blacktop whos just landed an amazing three-pointer in the netless basketball rim.
The player reaches his arms up and out in a V pose, causing the hoodie over his head to fall to his shoulders and present his beautiful face for our full viewing pleasure. Elys eyes meet mine. So worth missing a study session for, he says, smiling.
He should know to trust me. Even when Im lying. We admire. Gabriel is not only the hottest guy on the court, hes also the star player.
Graveyard-shift doorman by night, superstar pickup b-ball player by day. When the game ends, the players leave the court, sprinting off toward warm homes, I hope. Ely and I duck our heads low as they pass our salivating-at-the-fence, la-di-da, nothing-to- notice-here stance. Once theyre gone, Ely bows down to me, as Im owed. When he raises himself from his bow, Ely turns around and slumps his back against the fence.
He lets out an infatu- ated sigh.
David Levithan & Rachel Cohn - Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List 2007.epub
I cant believe we havent done this earlier, but clearly Gabriel belongs on the No Kiss List. Lets put him at the bottom, since hes new. He should work his way up. Ely and I created the No Kiss List. Our No Kiss List.
By agreeing in ad- vance that certain people are off-limits, even truly, madly kiss- able onesIm talking it hurts knowing that persons lips will never touch yours because of your own vow of no-kissiness Ely and I keep our friendship free of jealousy.
The No Kiss List.
If our parents had created a No Kiss List. The next generation wont make that mistake. Gabriels hotter than anybody on there now. I vote for him to go directly into number two position. Deal, Ely says. That concession was most easily won. Bookies, take note. Updated top standings on the No Kiss List.
The fact that we have no idea where Donnie is these daysweve heard rumors hes doing some Habitat for Humanity shit in Guatemala to dodge a drug rap after that senior skip-day shroom party last springhas no relevance to Donnies permanent 1 standing on the No Kiss List.
Welcome, Gabriel, hot midnight doorman, lusted after by every Building resident with a pulse, except maybe creepy Mr. McAllister, who apparently needs at least C-cup cleavage action to get off; 3: My cousin Alexander Kansas All-State tight end nuff said ; 4: Elys cousin Alexandra East Village, standing ovation for her performance in the experimental stage version of The Crying Gamenuff said ; 5: The tweedy theology grad student guy who is illegally subletting apartment 15B.
Howd you know Gabriel plays basketball here? Ely asks. Happened to walk by this playground one day and no- ticed him here, I say. The itsy-bitsy crawls up the lying wall.
Ive never, ever kissed Gabriel. Ive never, ever had more than a ve-minute conversation with Gabriel without Ely present. I may have exchanged digits with Gabriel. He may occa- sionally text me. He might have mentioned where he some- times plays ball with his boys before his night shift starts.
Lucky break for us! Ely says. Otherwise, down may come the and wash Naomi out. Reminder, I say. How much do I love you to give up ever having a chance with a Gabriel? You have a boyfriend already. I do need the reminder. Youre right. Bruce Two is wait- ing for me. I gotta go. My boyfriend and I have our own study session planned: He studies while I avoid studying.
Great teeth. Bruce will say, Naomi, I wear plain black T-shirts from the Gap. They really dont need ironing. And Ill say, So? Because ironing for him is somewhat more fun than making out with him. Its, like, orderly, and reason- ably ne time suckage.
The ironing, and the kissing. And when the mandated interval of Bruces ve-minute study-break time beeps from his cell phone alarm clock, hell stand up and cud- dle me from behind, nestling his head into the curve between my neck and shoulder. Probably not developing a woody while pressed against me because that would interfere with his study schedule. But he will whisper into my ear, God, youre pretty.
Like hes so proud of that. Like I had anything to do with a set of fucked-up genes delivering me shiny hair, a pleasant enough face, and a desirable body I dont really put to use.
Lets be honest. Even counting the No Kiss List. But I should wait for Ely to inaugurate it. I owe him that. Weve been planning our wedding since we were twelve, when Ely proposed as a means to extract from me the rst real kiss we shared, together. Gay doesnt change thatour shared past, our committed future.
Gay doesnt mean I shouldnt wait for that one moment when he wont be. I reach for Elys hand. Game over. Time for us to leave. But Ely stays rooted on the sidewalk, slumped against the fence. Wait a minute. Shazam alacazam! Ely gave in too easilyto vaulting Gabriel to 2 on the No Kiss List.
Ely busts his ass maintaining a high GPA to keep his freshman scholarship in good standing. Hes got to. His parents make too much money for them to qualify for need-based nancial aid but not enough to pay the full tuition tab and their mort- gage. Ely is trapped by that scholarship as much as my mother and I are trapped in the apartment across the hall from his. Moms administrative job at the university may cover the tu- ition for my general studies program, but she could never - nance us moving from The Building, no matter how awkward the situation might be with the neighbors.
Mom could never afford on her own a place as nice as the one her parents bought for us. Whats wrong? I ask Ely. His face has warmed up a lit- tle, and without the shiver-ush reddening his cheeks, I can see the worry lines around his beautiful blue Ely-eyes. I have to tell you something. I ask, concerned. What if Ely has cancer, or hes decided to take out a student loan to move into student hous- ing and out of The Building; or maybe hes so mad about my lies hes no longer going to care if I skip school and fail out en- tirely.
Ely says, I kissed Bruce the Second. We do it all the time, make decisions. If we actually thought about every decision we made, wed be paralyzed. Which word to say next. Which way to turn. What to look at. Which number to dial. You have to decide which decisions youre actually going to make, and then you have to let the rest of them go. Its the places where you think you have a choice that can really mess you up. She wasnt home. Thats the rst factor. The doorman let me up, I rang the bell, and she wasnt there, where she said she would be.
Two months ago this would have surprised me, but now it just annoyed me. You know that feeling of waiting for someone.
I mean really waiting for someonestanding in front of a restaurant in the cold and having hundreds of people pass you on the sidewalk. And you dont want to do anything else, because youre afraid you might miss somethingthat somehow if you dont spot her right away, shell walk right by. So you stand there and you dont do anything except think about how youre standing there.
Thats what dating Naomi was starting to feel like. I called her and hung up when it answered without ring- ing, because what good would it be to leave a third voice mail message?
What good is it ever to leave a third voice mail mes- sage? I was just standing there, trying to gure out how long I should wait. Then Elys door opened and he came out in his bare feet, carrying a garbage bag to the chute. He took one look at me, smiled, and said, Let me guess. Wed never really made it past comes with the territory ter- ritory. He wasnt really into me, because he thought I was bor- ing, and I wasnt really into him, because he thought I was boring.
But when Naomi wanted us to hang out together, we were ne. I got to be the innocent bystander. I wasnt jealous of himhow could I be, when he was gay? No, I was jealous of themthe way it was like they had grown up watching all the same TV shows, only the TV show they always kept refer- ring to was their own life together, and each episode was fun- nier than the last.
Every now and then, Naomi and even Ely would make the effort to explain one of their references to me, but the act of explaining made it even more awkward, even more obvious. My only comfort was that eventually the night would end and Naomi would go home with me, not him.
I knew Ely didnt think I was worthy, but I had a feeling hed never think anyone was worthy of Naomi. In old-movie terms, you had to think of it like this: But was there ever any doubt who their true dance partners were? I could be Naomis boyfriend, sure. I could be the one she slept with or didnt.
But I was pretty certain Id never be her dance partner. Ely asked me if I wanted to come inside, and I gured why not. I mean, I gured this would give me a reason to leave a third message, and would give Naomi a place to nd me when she showed up. It was much better than waiting in the hall- way. No one else was home. I was curious to meet his parents; Naomi had alluded to them enough for me to put the story to- gether.
I know its wrong, but I always pictured his mother, the one Naomis father had the affair with, to be attractive. It made more sense that way, at least to me. And Ely was attrac- tive, too. Its not like I didnt know that, although I really didnt think it meant anything to me. It wasnt like I felt it, the way I felt it when there was a hot girl around. Like Naomi, who was not only hot but actually happened to like having thoughts.
Id found, in my very limited dating and only-slightly-less-limited friendship experience, that there were a lot of people who treated thoughts like they were a nuisance. They werent in- trigued by them. They didnt go out of their way to prolong them. But Naomi valued the ne art of thinking. I imag- ined Ely would have a better idea. We went into one of those rooms thats lined oor-to- ceiling with bookcases, where the books have been sitting on the shelves together for so long that they look like theyve merged into one multi-spined line.
Can I take your coat? Ely asked. I handed it over and he threw it on a chair. Which should have been obnoxious, but the way he did itlike he was laughing at himself more than memade it almost charming.
I sat down on the couch and he hovered in front of me. Can I offer you a drink? It would make more sense, perhaps, if Id decided yes. But I said no. He said, Good. Brandy can get you in trouble, I hear. Whos Brandy?
I asked. My mothers brandy, he said. I was confused. I didnt think you had a mom named Brandy, I said. Now he looked confused. I dont. But you just said shes Brandy? He laughed. Shes more ginny than that. She goes by Ginny? You have to stop, he said, really laughing. Youre kill - ing me.
I laughed now, too, still confused. But whos Brandy? At this point, he was absolutely cracking up, and I found myself laughing right beside him. He was turning bright red, which made me laugh even harder. I was keeled over, wiping my eyes. He sat down on the couch next to me and laughed and laughed and laughed. You have to understand: I dont laugh often. Not out of choice. I just dont get the opportunity. So when I do, its a dam bursting. Its something opening. Knock knock!
I said. Whos there? Orange who? I screamed.
It was the funniest thing either of us had ever heard. What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator? I yelled back. Close the door, Im dressing! We went on like this for at least twenty minutes. Every joke wed ever heard in third grade was dredged up for a com- mand performance.
Finally we needed to catch our breath. We were still on the couch. He was leaning into me. As I did, he said, The other shoe drops. And I said, Nothat was just the rst.
He looked at me and it honestly felt like the rst time hed ever seen me.